So. As you all know, because I wasn't too quiet about it, this summer was horrible for me. As in the bane of my existence, HELL, a crapfest all around, you get my drift. I enjoyed this summer about as much as I enjoy having my entrails cut out and BURNED! I spent basically the entire summer like this, except replace that toilet with one of my mixing bowls we received for our wedding that I'm pretty sure I will never use again:
Not fun. But then, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel, in the form of a little yellow pill!
Oh Zofran, how I love thee. The sweet release you give my poor, achy little tummy.
You saved me heart, body, and soul this summer.
We shall never be apart as long as my womb is being rented by a vicious (although very cute) little tenant.
You see folks, I love this medicine. Probably too much. What is that doctor? You want to ween me off my miracle drug that brings me light and joy? Ok yes I will do that.
secretly pops sweet yellow pill in mouth
But then, last week something terrible happened. I ran out. Ok no big deal Erica, call in a refill. Looks at budget. No money! AAAHHH runs around in a fit of despair. Don't panic, i can do this. And to my surprise, I could. I wasn't feeling too crappy so I thought hey I must REALLY be over the worst of it! I can totally not take this anymore!
cue evil laughter from the depths of the womb
The fetus had a plan. A plan to make her mother hate life all over again! Hello, fetus, am I not the one who gave you life? Gives you food? Sings sweet songs to you to make you happy? Heck, I contributed in making you so darn cute, because I know you totally are! And do you see all those cute clothes over there? Those are for you when you decide to grace us with your presence. And sure, I may shine a flashlight in your eyes, or poke at you occasionally to get you to move, but cut a woman some slack she just wants to know you're still ok in there! Sheesh! No need to go all summer of 09 on her again!
Yes, the unthinkable happened. I woke up this morning barfing. Barf. Heaving. No no no I thought, I can't do this again! My body has been riddled with enough! So I continued getting ready, decided to try to go to student teaching anyway, where I was told I looked green. Perfect.
After throwing up in the trash can and having to track down the janitor, I decided to call it a day. I just didn't want to be running into the hall every ten minutes to empty the contents of my stomach so the fetus could have a little more play room!
I called my mom just to vent my situation a little where I got a butt chewing about letting my meds run out. But mom! money! it's expensive! But she just wouldn't have it. And guess what she did? Went and got it for me. Geez I have the best madre ever. I'm sure she wasn't complaining about me when my little fetus form made her miserable.
So anyyywwwaaayyy...long story short...I heart Zofran.
The End
8 comments:
I'm so sorry you got sicky and barfy again...but OH! MY! GOODNESS! You are hilarious! :D
I loved this line:
"We shall never be apart as long as my womb is being rented by a vicious (although very cute) little tenant."
hahaha i loved reading that post! you should be an author! seriously, your books would rock. u are so good with your words! you are gonna be an awesome teacher!
I agree with mallory!!!! You're hillarious!!! PS. You need to change my blog website that you have for me! member....I changed it!! :)
I am glad you have that little Zofran friend now!
Oh Erica...I am so sorry. I love Zofran too. I don't have to take it every day though...I can't imagine! It is an amazing little pill though! Do you have insurance because mine isn't too expensive. You can get the generic brand for much much cheaper too. Well maybe your baby girl will be an absolute angel when she gets out....maybe this will be your only trial? (cross fingers) I love you! And I feel for you!
I have to agree with all of the above comments, you are amazing and hilarious! Love you!
Holy Crap! (this is Kemra (stradling) by the way!) This makes me feel old...I can't believe you're having a baby!!! Congrats on that!!! Hope you get some Zofran soon - I'm so sorry your sick - it really is the WORST!!!
I have a blog too - it's private, so if you want to see it email me & I will invite you!
kemra(dot)nelson(at)hotmail(dot)com
Wow, that was an amazing story!hahaha... You are TOO funny! I'm so sorry you aren't feeling great. But glad to hear that you got more of your Zofran that you desperately needed. Hope you get to feelin better soon! Love ya!
Post a Comment