Looking Forward

Today... today should have been a hard day.

Today was my due date, for the baby we lost back in October.

Now I know due dates aren't always spot on,

but this means that sometime around now I would have another little baby in my arms.

Ten more tiny fingers and toes to love on.

Two more little cheeks to kiss on.

Another baby to steal my heart.

No one ever tells you about the complete and utter emptiness you feel after a miscarriage.

It's a dark, dark time.

I would think I was fine, and then it would wash over me stronger than the previous time and I'd find myself drowning in the sadness of it all.

But, if I know anything, it's that Heavenly Father has a plan for me.

And for this baby.

I know we'll see it again.

And with that knowledge, I have found peace in this.

I strive to stay positive, looking forward, toward the better things that lie ahead.

So today, we celebrated this baby.

We got some white balloons, and the whole family headed to the park to release them.

Little notes were written and attached,

even Ruby wrote a love note for her little brother/sister

My little family basked in the moment, knowing we would all be together again one day,

and then we released the balloons, and our sadness with them.

This was a day of celebration

We all watched as our love floated up with these balloons to meet our baby in the heavens

We watched until they turned into tiny white specks against a blue sky, and then disappeared, taking our love notes with them

Of course I had my moment of sadness, but it passed quickly and I was filled with an overflowing amount of love, hope, and trust that all is well

So I hugged my family, kissed my babe and baby, and smiled.

Because this was a celebration after all.

So what should have been a hard day, turned into a celebration of something beautiful, something so much bigger than all of us, and that is His plan.

We will see our baby again, and until that day, we love you baby.

So we'll continue looking forward, always to better things.

And it helps when you have something to look forward to....

Because did you notice? Were you paying attention?

No? Take a closer look....

16 week Baby Bump!



ALWAYS TO BETTER THINGS