Scrunchies Are In

I love my scrunchie faced girl

Mother Nature

had a present waiting for me when I woke up this morning. (finally!)

I didn't even have to get out of bed to know what it was...the feeling that little humans were dancing on my insides and trying to crawl their way out of my body told me just what I needed to know.

It's aaalllll gooooddd though.

This means we're on our journey to eventually have #2, take two.

Here's to hoping it'll be sooner, rather than later. :)

Ps: it also isn't so bad because I woke up with Little Miss's bum in my face.

I love her in bed with me

Shmoctober

is over.

And I realized I pretty much only posted about our loss.

Downer.

While it was pretty much what consumed most of our thoughts, emotions, and energy for the month, there were also many many good things that happened in October.

And before I forget all of them, I want to quickly recap the highlights...considering Turkey Day and Christmas are literally around the corner.

Every October my mom's whole side of the family does the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk in celebration of our Grammy who is a 5 year survivor! I not only walk for Grammy, but for my mom, my sisters, myself, and now for my baby girl.

4 generations:

Then a few days later my mom, sisters, and myself had the opportunity to go to Time Out For Women.

My great dad got us a hotel for the night so it was a girl's weekend! There were laughs, tears, and even some wetting of the pants! {not it!}

(stupid blogger rotated it)


We also go to the demolition derby every year at the state fair.
 Oddly enough, for a family of girls, we really enjoy this!
Nothing better than the smell of grease everywhere, indian fry bread (which for the second year in a row made me sick. thankfully though this year didn't include barfing in those sick nasty bathrooms), and cars slamming into each other!

And yes, I was in a wheelchair. This was just a few days after passing and I was still so weak there's no way I would have lasted walking around all day.
 Doctor's orders!

Then came Ruby girl's first Halloween! She was a ladybug-meets-fairy-princess-thing. Not quite sure, but at least she looked cute! We went to our neighborhood carnival....

then finished up that night by having our annual family pumpkin carving! This year we made it into a contest!

 Ruby girl cheered us on from the sidelines...

And I won! Dwight Schrute is always a winner...and Erik is always the creeper in the background.

On actual Halloween we just passed out candy with my parents...and as you can see someone had a good time!

And to end the Halloween season, we went to a party with a bunch of our friends. It was really a lot of fun!

We had Simon & Garfunkel, Buddha, Doc Brown, Ricky Bobby, some tourists, a sexy pirate, and I'm not sure what Albert and I were doing...but can you tell what we went as?

Hint: our shirts say "So Bright" & "So Vivid."

All in all, when trying to look at the positive side of things, October was good to us!

My Ruby Blue

Ruby loves me.

Like, she reaaaallllyyy loves me.

Lately I'm the only one she'll go to, and sometimes she likes to literally stay up ALL night because the second I put her in her crib she screams hysterically and says mama mama over and over, forcing me to drive around at 2 am to put her to sleep, only to have her wake up and hour later ready to play, leaving me very very grumpy and passed out on the couch while grandpa plays with her until six thirty am.

And then I come home from the procedure (rescheduled to today) and all she wants is mama mama mama.

I love it, I do. It melts my heart and makes me exhausted all at the same time.

And then, I discover pictures like this. (thanks Mandy!)

And I forget about the exhasution part, and my heart just turns into a pile of mush on the floor. 

This Week's Schedule:

*Blood transfusion

*D&C

*Papa's skin cancer surgery

Bring. It. On.

Is It...

too early to start dressing the wee one in Halloween garb?

Me thinks not.

Onesies and skirts...

(good thing that's a onesie or it wouldn't be the only thing playing peek-a-boo, if ya know what I'm sayin....)

Halloween jammies...

compelete with ghost feet

and am I the only parent that thinks it's adorable when their babies cry, and instead of pick them up right away, grab the camera?

And there are plenty more Halloween outfits to still wear. And there may be a witch's hat to subject her to. Good thing we've still got a few more weeks in October...

On an unrelated note....does the babe look ANYTHING like her mama? All I ever hear is how she looks exactly like daddy...there has to be some of me in there somewhere!

And on another unrelated note....the wee one wore jeggings today. Jeggings.

Awful name? Yes.

Adorable on her? Absolutely.

The Unknown

I don't have all the answers.

I don't know when this whole ordeal will be over.

I haven't passed anything yet and therefore still have all my pregnancy symptoms including but not limited to: nauseau, fatigue, hunger, back pain, and oh ya that pregnancy bump.

It's frustrating, really, not knowing "when."

I don't know when we'll have another baby.

I don't have all the answers.

But, I know someone who does.

And I've turned everything over to Him, knowing I'm in good hands.

Until then I rely on a little face around here for my sunshine.

 I don't know why blogger turned this one.

I don't know what it is, but I love watching her play and laugh and crawl in her jammie jams. I just think she looks so cute in them.

She makes going into the unknown a lot more bearable.

Dictionary.com defines a miscarriage as: the expulsion of a fetus before it is viable, esp. between the third and seventh months of pregnancy; spontaneous abortion.

Babycenter.com defines a miscarriage as:  the loss of a pregnancy in the first 20 weeks.

It should say: a loss of a piece of you, a piece of your whole being, of who you are in the first 20 weeks.

To me, miscarriage means: a piece of your world crashing down as you stare at the ultrasound, trying to make sense of what you deep down know you're seeing, and trying to fill in the spaces of what they're not saying.

It means crying on a table while your husband holds your hand and tries to be strong, only to break down himself on the long drive home.

It means your family crying with you and not knowing what to say because really, nothing can be said to take this away.

It means constant tears, whether it be 3 pm or 3 am, because I don't really know what else to do but cry.

It means praying every five minutes and thanking Heavenly Father for the healthy 8 month old squirming in your arms.

It means tears as I shakily try to type this up.

It means really trying hard to summon the faith that you know you have somewhere to get through this.

It means, as My Albert said, another reason to look forward to the next life.


I miss you already, baby. Your dad and I were so excited for you. But I know this is all part of Heavenly Father's plan, and we'll see you again. Until then, I love you.

Many thanks in advance for all the love and support.

Washer & Dryer

We're selling our washer and dryer since we are moving and don't need them anymore.

They're both in great condition!

$300 for the pair

If interested please email me at erica.neel@asu.edu

Ericaisms

My husband grabs me. A lot.

Not in a playful way, or a...other way.

 (you know what I'm talking about, don't act like your husband doesn't try that)

In a oh-crap-I-have-to-change-my-unders-AND-the-sheets-because-I-think-I-just-wet-myself way.

I roll over a lot when I sleep. A LOT.

I'm ten weeks in and already can't ever get comfortable.

And without fail, almost every night starting about 2 weeks ago, at some point in the night when I go to roll from facing him to facing away from him, he bolts up and grabs me frantically.

I'm not sure what his deal is. He says he thinks I'm falling off the bed.

Well apparently Saturday night I had had enough.

We were driving home from California yesterday and started talking about how he had grabbed me the night before. He relayed the conversation to me:

Me: rolling over

Husband: frantically grabs me

Me: frantic breathing, death glare, "If you grab me one more time, I will punch you in the face."

Husband: ".....ok"

A few hours later, I go to roll again. This time, pre roll, I turn to husband:

Me: "DO. NOT. GRAB. ME."

I can't be blamed for my harsh words.

I already think the girl from the ring/grudge/sixth sense/any other scary movie is going to pop up beside my bed at night and grab me, actually being grabbed in the night isn't making my extreme paranoia any better.

Dose of Ruby

I've recently been informed that I don't post enough pictures of our little booger.

Yes, that's what she's called around here. Thanks to My Albert.

Booger, Boogs, Booger Face, it's all in the mix. Don't ask...

I was thoroughly perplexed. Isn't that all this blog has become?! A shrine of The Rubes?

But...I went back through and realized they're right. I haven't even posted a picture of her since July!

Gasp!

If Ruby is what the people want, Ruby is what they'll get!

Which means, picture overload.

Consider yourself warned.....

Here's what The Rubes has been up to:

Sometimes, she's shocked that I don't do the laundry

And sometimes, she just looks darn cute (all the time)

Sometimes she looks like I never comb her hair

And sometimes she likes to play peek a boo (and have a blingin' earring)

Sometimes she gets impatient waiting for that next bite

And sometimes(most of the time) she goes pantless. And sometimes I take diagonal pictures for no reason

She likes to practice kissing. At 7 months. Looks like I've got a trouble maker on my hands!

Sometimes daddy wants to play with her in the rain. So he did! And he liked it!

 (If you can name that movie we're automatic best friends)

And sometimes she liked to be tossed in the air

And look like Chuckie while she's flying (please oh please oh please zoom in on these. Her face is priceless)

Sometimes she parties too hard

And sometimes her short hair cooperates and lets me put a clip in it!

Sometimes she rocks the overalls circa 1998

And sometimes she grows a bead beard

Sometimes she looks like Aunt Jemima

And sometimes we don't wipe her face after lunch, then let her play in a cardboard box. Because we're that ghetto

AND! Ruby is the most flexible little 7 month old I've ever seen. I swear she has double jointed hips. A few weeks ago she started being able to go from a laying to sitting position. BUT! She has her own way of doing things. She doesn't do the ol' roll to the side and push herself up thing, oh no no. She has to be unique. She starts out on her belly:

pushes her legs straight out to the side in the splits:

pushes herself back using her arms:

and TADA!

It's really funny to watch. She can do it so fast. Up, down, up, down. To go back down to her belly she just swings them back out to the splits and pulls them back around her. If I can figure out how to upload my videos onto the computer I'll show you!

So there you have it people.

You asked, I answered.

Ruby is growing like a weed. The other day at the doctor she was almost 21 pounds!

And she's super duper clingy lately, just to me. If I put her down or walk out of eyesight she goes ballistic like someone is sawing off her legs. It's ridiculous, really. But, I'll never have this time back with just my Ruby girl, so I'm trying to soak up as much of it as possible. I know the next 7ish months will fly by and she will be Big Sister Ruby, and as excited as I am for this new baby, I'll miss it just being me and her. (And My Albert, of course, but you know what I mean)

That's it I've gotta go snuggle her right now...